February went by extremely fast, I failed miserably at baking, and still haven’t figured out the simplest thing I put on my goals for the month. Oh yeah, and also we had a fire.
Learning Something:
My goal for February was to finally learn how to portion and cook rice properly. When I cook it, it’s almost always a game of SAVE IT FROM BURNING! ADD MORE WATER OH NO IT IS SLUDGE. Followed by me having to open yet another OnlyFans account for ....rice...voyeurism...?
I read up on how to make it (the rice, not the account), and followed instructions closely, but I still overcooked it, and I still made too much. I don’t know. Accountability means being honest, and if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I’ll ever figure this out. If I'm being really, really honest, I just despise making it and that is ultimately why I can't be fucked reading up on the intricacies of proper rice handling. However: while we are on the titillating topic of white rice: did you know it’s possible to cook sticky rice in the microwave AND without soaking? The texture isn’t as uniform, but it’s completely doable if you’re in a pinch. Google it! We made thai curries twice in February and I forgot to pre-soak it the second time, but with just a bit of boiled water, a lot of draining, and about 8 minutes in the microwave, it tasted nearly as great as the first one (pre-soaked properly).
Also, a good portion size for spaghetti is 175 grams. Double it if you’re having a bad day and need the extra carbs.
So, all in all, goal ..kinda..met?
After all the exhaustion and disappointed that comes with cooking rice, sometimes it's nice to just get one of those semi prepared meals delivered for a fancy night in. Below, a chateaubriand steak with cabbage and mash potatoes, from Brookwood.
Something Social:
Aside from catching up with friends, I wanted to do something that cast the social net a bit further this month, and couldn’t figure this one out, until my friend Sam gave me her +1 virtual ticket to a body positivity conference (!!).
The BodCon was a one day live virtual conference featuring body-positive speakers only some of whom I’ve heard of before, and while it left me feeling inspired and a tad more confident, it also left me questioning a few things, none of which I could write about on this woke canvas we’ve been thrust upon, but which I’d love to discuss if you’d like to message me about it.
Randomly, a few days later, I found this quote by one of my favourite comedians, Amy Schumer. It comes from a powerful speech she made in 2014, at the Gloria Awards and Gala. If you take a moment to find it and read it in full, chances are you’ll see yourself in at least part of it.
“I Say if I'm Beautiful. I Say if I'm Strong. You Will Not Determine My Story.”
I’ve been thinking about it ever since, and it is perhaps more powerful than what I heard in that conference. This is as much a ‘social’ issue as it is one tied to body image and self love. Why do we leave our worth, our value to be evaluated by anyone other than us? Inherently, we look to others for social cues and validation. But how much toxicity does it take to claim that one fundamental decision back for ourselves?
Imagine standing in front of the mirror in a bikini thinking, I'm so nervous..I hope I think I'm hot...
and then being like Oh wow, I am! and that is literally that. That's all. No one else's opinion matters.
Something Productive:
I wanted to read a book in hard copy rather than listen to one like I’ve been doing in past months, and luckily, I had a really funny one that Jeff gave me: Shit, Actually by Lindy West. If you haven’t yet read her hilarious essay on why Love, Actually was absolute crap definitely do so, and then read and watch Shrill (both the book and show). Lindy West is a phenomenal writer, and, as someone who doesn’t laugh at everything, I was convulsing in laughing fits reading Shit, Actually. It starts off with a critical synopsis of The Fugitive, and moves on to a thorough analysis of why other films are absolute garbage, and I don’t want to spoil it for you but it is just so, so funny.
Also, I don't know if you consider The Miracle Of Life productive, but in December, just after the holidays, I bought a little box of crocus bulbs that came in tiny vases. The box said they're meant to be grown in water, but the bulbs looked dead and the box was reduced to 40 cents. I bought them and filled the vases with water, and nothing happened. Nothing happened for weeks, and I considered throwing them all out because they actually looked kinda creepy just soaking there, on my windowsill. Until one day, a tiny green sprout came out of one them. The second bulb soon followed, but the third remained lifeless. I thought about throwing it out again, but then I got distracted by a bird whose face looked like that of an adult man, and then, before I knew it, all three flowers emerged!
The third one remained a bud (not like in a Canadian way lol) while the purple and white one blossomed. I didn't realize they have such short lifespans - they died within days. But then, the third one caught up to the others and it was a perfect hybrid of the purple and white (pictured at the top of this blog as well):
Something Caring:
Well, it was Valentine’s Day, and my caring deed was to send a card to my family weeks ahead of time. It got there, and I think they liked it (??) but I still felt unfulfilled.
Then, my dad texted me that he needed tech support.
Oh boy.
A two-hour-long phone call later, I had helped him reset his eleventh password of the year, answered fifty Hotmail security questions, reset his Skype, and subscribed him to his favourite Youtube vlogger.
We laughed, we cried, I had an anxiety attack.
Good deed done, once again.
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| As the last of my v-day cooking fail-a-thon burn slowly heals, I have fond memories of the exploded romantic cracker, and this very wholesome joke that came out of it.. |
Something New:
The plan for this month was to go somewhere really nice, but then the police decided that people shouldn’t go walking outside in nice places because that’s how they’ll spread Covid, so they blocked off nice places and only allow us to walk in regular places because then we won’t spread Covid.
So instead, we walked to a new coffee place that opened in a GAA (Gaelic football) field, called Bold & Brass Coffee. It was a sunny day, and with the palm trees swaying in the wind, it almost felt like we were on a tropical vacation.
I got an Americano, and it had the depth, flavour, and richness I was hoping for. I hate an acidic, ‘grey’ tasting Americano. Jeff’s flat white was smooth (though not as smooth as the ones in Lotts and Co - go there!!) and overall, I would absolutely recommend the coffee cart if you’re in the Clontarf area - certainly above Casa Pasta, any day! Sorry not sorry.
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| The coffee cart is so tiny, you'd never think it's behind this wall! |
Something Creative:
One of my favourite things of all time is creating stupid videos. The first one I ever made was a mock infomercial about a basic old light switch. It was very crudely done and featured my sister and I, and at the time, we thought it would win a Youtube makeup vlogger’s makeup contest, but upon further thought, I don’t know how I ever could’ve thought a video where I back-hand my sister for spilling grape juice would ever make it anywhere, really. I still watch it from time to time, and despite us not winning, it was truly a work of art.
A short while later, I made a video about shoes, and came insanely close to winning a trip to Paris with Metro newspaper. My video was judged by Jonas Åkerlund who directed some Lady Gaga videos, but ultimately the guy who won was a guy who submitted a video he had had on his Youtube channel for years. It killed me to be one of the two remaining competitors and to lose to someone who cheated and clearly broke one of the official rules, but say la vee, as they say in France.
Anyway, then a couple years ago, I spent the last of my savings on a MacBook Pro.
I used it to make a video about wrestlers who forget to turn off their immersion at home. (Bit of Irish humour for ye)
Clearly, I would’ve thrived just as deeply with Windows 95.
Then, I made a video about being on staycation last spring. It made a lot of people smile, and that is undoubtedly the only thing I care about when I expose my friends and loved ones to these stupid ideas. (Not building on or showcasing my talent in cinematography).
Then, this year, I made my most horrid work yet: a valentine’s day video about a toy airplane that turns out to be a huge, huge mistake.
That last abomination was my creative ‘something’ for the month.
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| A takeaway pint of Heineken on the strand in the February sunshine |
Fitness:
This month I ran my first full kilometre since starting back running. The fitness challenge for this month and so many to follow, will be to increase my mileage very slowly and with all the patience I can muster. Also, I think I’m going to sign up for the Ottawa Army Run (virtual) in September. To go from this month’s 1km to September’s 21km will be challenging, and I am so excited to have officially started my long and careful journey.
February Challenge:
I gave myself a goal of choosing a new nutritional approach, researching it, and putting together a meal plan that I could implement in March. This is not a very entertaining read, but I will say that it has led me to decide on trying at least 30 days dairy and sugar-free. This won’t be a purist approach like my 30 Day Raw Diet (
blog post about it here) because there will be natural sweeteners involved, but I think it will still be a huge change from how I eat now, so I’m looking forward to gagging on a lovely almond milk coffee now and then. Granted February's challenge wasn’t extreme, I wanted to ease into the idea and planning it has made the big March ordeal something I look forward to.
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