Balmain x H&M

Remember many years ago, when I spent the night outside H&M in Montreal to grab some pieces from their collaboration with Versace? After that, it was another night spent waiting for Rodarte x H&M with my poor sister, who tried very hard not to cry as the sun rose to indecently reveal street cleaning cars and the staggering of nearby drunks. And, after that, I promised myself that while I'll endure a little bit of suffering for fashion, I just can't take it that far again. Well, that was before I saw the latest collaboration, hitting select Canadian H&M locations on November 5th: Balmain x H&M. Oh my God.

Photo: h&m.com

Honestly, when I first saw the teasers for the line, I didn't care much for the box cut blazer which, lets face it, can really only be effective when worn with thigh-high boots and pretty much nothing else. And as far as I like to take Casual Fridays at work, I have to stop at my french fry shirt. I just can't find a legitimate use for either of these outfits, so I kinda just shrugged the whole thing off and moved on with my life.

Nope, not for me (photo: dailymail.co.uk)

But then, the collection was released, and I felt my stomach drop the way it does when I really, really like something. And that's when I knew I couldn't look away anymore.  And so, with a few weeks to the launch, here are my favourite pieces, if you can handle them.

First of all, there's this show-stopper. I've been waiting for a dress with a plunging neckline for as long as I can remember, and this. is. it. Somebody better invite me to a yacht party soon, otherwise, well no, I don't care, I'll wear it to the food court if I have to.

photo: H&M

Then there's this silk (!!) dress, for when you want to curl your hair and put on the lipstick that's a bit too flashy, and call everyone at the disco Honey, and squeeze your lime slowly into your tonic to the sounds of Abba, and give him a fake number because you're too busy anyway.

photo: H&M

The following two pieces have a stunning structure, impeccable detailing, and just enough punch to be worn with minimal accessories (if any). I love the sinched waist on the dress, and the built-in neck detailing on the top. I would pair both of these with big hair and maybe some solid statement earrings, like the Chanel double pearl studs. Mega-swoon.

photo: H&M

photo: H&M

And if you don't feel like paying $200-$800 for a garment, there are also some really striking accessories that are a little more on the accessible side, guaranteeing your popularity at the next Secret Santa gift exchange. "A mug that says "I AM TIRED"??? Karen, how thoughtful! So, I'm not sure who your Secret Santa is but she left the H&M receipt in the box in case you don't love your BALMAIN scarf, which I know you will."

A velvet scarf! Love love love. 

photo: H&M

And a suede clutch! All jokes aside, I think this might be the piece I end up with. It's so versatile, so simple, and the green can be adorned so easily, yet keeps its place in spotlight by virtue of that shade being just so, so, so cool. It really doesn't care what you think, it just wants to be on your arm.

photo: H&M

And even though I already have a couple of pairs of headphones, how incredible are these? Just perfectly pretentious, and probably more for people who wear fur vests and stuff, but still so exciting to imagine yourself wearing.  Top three songs listened to by people who will buy these: 1.Jamiroquai: Cosmic Girl  2.Dr.Dre: Next Episode 3.The Weeknd: High For This.

I should also mention that Balmain has a really great men's collection this time around as well. If I had a husband who smelled really good, I think he would wear this blazer. I really love how clean the lines are, and that there aren't any garbage buttons or stars or any stupid appliqué or patterns woven into the cuffs as high-end designers seem to love to do. Gentlemen, this is the kind of blazer that tells a woman that yeah, you've done this before. That lapel tho. Damn.

photo: H&M

There are still some pieces that you know are going straight to the Next Day Back of the Store rack, that you'll see someone's great aunt buying for 70% off in a week, but I think that happens with every collection.  Sometimes it's earrings shaped like armadillos. Other times (this time around) it's a one-piece spacesuit and a dress shirt with some sort of communist detailing on the shoulders.

Whatevs, ignore those, because the rest of the line is really, really worth it. Balmain x H&M will be available in select Canadian stores so get that sleeping bag out 'cause it's gonna be another cold night out!