Last month, on the day after I returned to Ireland, Jeff asked me to marry him.
It was a day we reserved to celebrate as an Autumn Harvest/Thanksgiving/Hallmark Movie kind of day, because, being apart for a few months, we had missed my favourite fall season together. The sun was a soft orange, and even though around us were Christmas lights, our apartment was decorated in acorns, leaves, and everything pumpkin spice.
The thing I will forever remember about Jeff’s proposal is the kindness of something he did earlier that day (completely unintentionally), which was exactly the sort of kindness that made me fall in love with him years ago. Because, in a perfect world, I would survive solely on Krispy Kreme donuts, Jeff ordered a dozen of them to surprise me. When I saw them and realized we couldn’t possibly eat the whole box, my first suggestion was that we freeze the rest, because I am very greedy and rude. Jeff’s first instinct, because he is an angel, was to offer some to the kids playing outside. Without a moment’s hesitation, he ran out with the donuts and the kids were so, so happy. I mean, in a world of pink sweaty nightmare pastries, when you’re presented with the heavenly cloud that is a Krispy Kreme donut…you know not to say no. Actually, as I write this I realize the kids said ‘yes’ to Jeff before I even did..hmm
Early on in our relationship when we were texting with an ocean between us, Jeff took in a very ugly stray cat. Nicknaming him Ghost Cat because he was white and the kind of thing you’d see on your wall in the middle of the night in a haunted Airbnb, Jeff cooked it a full chicken breast, and put some mayonnaise on the side so the cat would have the option of making an already exotic meal even tastier. He sent me photos of the chicken breast and the little dollop of mayo on the side. The gesture was so unbelievably kind that..well, that was it for me. I was smitten.
Flash forward to five years later, and there I stood in the kitchen, watching him run back home thrilled that he could make those kids so happy.
That evening, Jeff adamantly suggested he cook our belated Thanksgiving dinner of a roast chicken, honey glazed carrots, caesar salad, and croquettes. The itemization of the dinner is important because, later, I couldn’t taste any of it, let alone hold my fork. Jeff told me to wait in the bedroom while he got some things ready and I took the opportunity to get started on one of my favourite hobbies of all time: a letter of complaint. This time it was to Air Canada about a suitcase they damaged while I was on my way to Dublin from Ottawa. Little did I know that would be the last thing I would do as a single woman.
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| Celebrating having finally chosen the engagement ring together! |
Soon after, Jeff called me into the living room, illuminated by what looked like hundreds of tiny tealight candles. On the floor were little felt autumn leaves, scattered. On the window, a large poster photograph of the Rideau Canal in Ottawa, my favourite place in the world.
He had wanted to ask me by the canal, but the pandemic made it impossible for him to come to Canada with me when I had left. Our apartment, I think, was even better, because, as he explained, it also was reminiscent of one of the most touching moments in our favourite show, when Michael proposed to Holly.
The rest was a blur, and I remember saying yes, but not much else, and I remember sitting down to our dinner, unable to even speak, just trying to understand how it happened to be that somehow, I am someone’s fiancée.
Of all the things I expected to feel, what I wasn’t expecting was to cry upon seeing the care other people have extended towards us.
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| A surprise engagement party at Jeff's family's house! I really wanted my ring to be in the photo and then deeply regretted how I made myself look lol |
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| Only 90 Day Fiancé fans will get this one! |
There I was, sitting with my Bride’s Notes notebook, opening a wedding checklist document my friend Samantha sent me, expecting a generic wedding planning list which would’ve already been extremely kind…and suddenly, I saw “Jeff and Alisa’s Wedding” and the tears started flowing. She personalized it with little notes and tips, just for us. Then, I saw “If you have your wedding in Ottawa, Moores has a coupon…” and it hit me- like it does whether I’m away for a year or a week- it hit me how much I miss home.
I looked down at my little notebook, a gift from Jeff’s sister Louise, and again was overwhelmed with gratitude and disbelief that I happen to find myself sharing the same lifetime as these wonderful, caring people.
I think maybe because a wedding is, to me, such an intimate idea, seeing other people extend this kindness and thoughtfulness towards something I have always considered so personal and intimate, it has really caught me off guard and these days it takes everything I have not to burst into tears just thinking about all the beautiful messages, cards, gifts, and efforts extended towards us. From Jeff’s family throwing us a surprise engagement party (I didn’t know that was a thing!), to receiving engagement gifts from family and friends, to seeing how excited my mom is to help plan the wedding…this is a whole new world of things that make tears run down my face, like I don’t already cry enough.
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| Our friends treated us to an exquisite, gorgeous dinner to celebrate... |
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| ...complete with the most beautiful gifts! |
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| Toasting with Jeff's family! |
I deliberated sharing this very personal aspect of my life because I am a very private person in general, but after I said ‘yes’, I realized I want to remember these little moments, from the letter to the airline, to Jeff's "Would you.."…to what will eventually become the day we become husband and wife. These blog posts have always ultimately been for me, to mark the moments that make life so special, and I’m so happy I can add this detail to my little book.
Thank you for reading :)
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| My ring sizer from Germany! I had never seen one like this before.. |
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